1. I think the metaphor is apt, we burden ourselves and we must shed and unload the burdens – forgive and learn the lessons accordingly. ~Jigme here, after such a long gap, how are you?

    1. Hello there, Jigme,

      Yes, it has been some time. I’m well and hope all is good at your end too.

      I agree with your observation – unburden, forgive and learn – and move on.

      All good wishes and I hope to see you around more,
      P/s I’ve visited and caught up with your blog posts. Keep writing, my friend 🙂

  2. What an amazing post Eric, compulsive reading, – especially your responses to your commenters which tell us so much about you, and the beauty and goodness that you put into life…. I felt both inspired and humbled by all that I learned from your words and this post…the last story was a vignette of my life in the last few years, including the heartbreak of betrayal, and as you say, unless we count our blessings we actually ruin our lives

    1. Hello Valerie,

      Thank you for your visit and lovely comment. You humble me with your kindness.

      It’s sad when the people you love and trust turn against you. The closer they are, the deeper their thrust. I’m so sorry to learn that the last story of betrayal is something you’ve lived through. I’m also happy to note that, like me, you’ve taken a positive approach.

      God bless you, my friend, and all good wishes ahead,

      1. Eric, I wish you blessings too… I love that we’ve connected through our blogs… it is amazing that out of all the millions of bloggers birds of a feather still find each
        other !!!

      1. Thank you, but I have difficulty accessing your blog – getting a blank pink page. Perhaps it’s a temporary glitch but you might want to look into this.

  3. Love this, Eric, and I also like what Ian wrote about forgiving not only others, but ourselves. Either way, forgiving affords us peace, but sometimes, it’s not easy to do. 🙂

    1. Hello Lauren,

      You’re so very right. Forgiving unburdens us and gives peace. But as you suggest, the outrage we feel can be so intense, it’s not easy to forgive.

      Speaking of which. I’m happy to have gone past the stage of feeling outrage. Instead, in recent years, I simply brush off the wrongs. In fact, I feel sorry for those who hurt me.

      The good news is, I’ve also grown to forgive myself.

      Warm hugz for a dear friend,

      Evil is an act
      The person is not evil
      Pity the weakling

      Salma cried; her tears flowed in streams and her body convulsed with each sob. She had always been a choleric person and had quarrelled with every member of her family.

      When her husband passed away, matters had come to a head. Unable to tolerate her scathing behaviour towards their wives, her two sons had abandoned her.

      Salma’s younger brother, Saiffudin, was her last hope. Throughout the years, he had helped and stood up for her against the stifling norms of their patriarchal society. But she had rewarded him by disparaging his wife and adult children. Grief stricken, he had decided to keep away from her.

      Now, Saiffudin watched as Salma continued to sob. When her tears emptied, his wife invited Salma to rest in their guest room.

      ‘She has done terrible things to herself,’ said Saiffudin to his wife. ‘It is for her to reflect and heal, not for us to preach.’

      Haiku & Story: Copyright @ Eric Alagan, 2018

    1. Hello Ina,

      Hear, hear—isn’t that the truth? I subscribe to what you say.

      Every time I forgive a trespass, I feel so light and relieved.

      Long ago I thought the relief was due to the avoidance of conflict. But in later years, I realised it was much more than that—it was a genuine feel-good at having done the right thing for the other person and for self.

      All good wishes,

      Rewards all around
      Kill the pain, reap the pleasures
      Life is bright and sweet

      After their father died, Gopal and his younger sister, Shanti, had a serious falling out over the family estate. A lawyer, Shanti had cleverly got their father to transfer the title deeds to her, leaving Gopal nothing. To worsen matters, many years later when Gopal, having forgiven Shanti, tried to patch their shattered relationship she rejected him outright; and in public too.

      Therefore, when Gopal and his wife spotted Shanti and her husband, Gerald, in a hotel restaurant, he was not going to approach her.

      But he ran into Gerald in the men’s toilet, and again broached the subject of reconciliation.

      ‘I’ll let her know that you wish to let bygones be bygones,’ said Gerald.

      ‘Do me a favour will you,’ said Gopal. ‘If she does not wish me to approach, text me, save me the public humiliation.’

      Back at the table, the restaurant manager approached Gopal and said, ‘Sir, there’s a call for you. You can take it at the hotel lobby.’

      Gopal went out and picked up the telephone but the line was dead.

      He turned and saw Shanti waiting in an alcove, hidden from public view. She had copious tears flowing down her cheeks.

      They embraced and made up, and returned hand-in-hand to the restaurant.

      ‘Thank you.’ Gopal whispered, but Gerald looked confused.

      Subsequently, Gopal learned that Gerald had not had an opportunity to steer Shanti towards the subject of reconciliation.

      Haiku & Story: Copyright @ Eric Alagan, 2018

  4. I totally subscribe to this, Eric, and has lived by it. I learned long ago that when you are grouchy, people stay away to avoid incurring your anger. Then you become lonelier and unapproachable. When you are happy, this easily spread to all around you. After all whether you are sad or happy, the sun will still rise and set as usual, so why not forgive and be happy. Your generosity of heart will be felt and hopefully you can diffuse the conflict.

    1. Hello Windy dear,

      Your words ring true.

      We are in control. We are free to make choices. We can choose to forgive and be happy, or hold grudges and worse, and be miserable.

      Hugz my friend,

      Joy or misery
      My happiness, I control
      I choose, I receive

      After twenty years of marriage, Shabina continued to be forgiving towards Waleed. She realised that hidden under his anger was a decent man who loved her and will never leave her.

      Waleed was a deep thinker and quick in picking up skills beyond his core competencies. He was efficient in everything he handled in the office and at home. He was daring, readily took on new projects, and no matter what the challenge, he came up with innovative solutions. His bosses grew to love him and also envy him.

      Shabina learned from him too and progressed in her career. They were a great couple in the world of commerce.

      She saw him as her mentor but unknown to her, he viewed her as his teacher. When he revealed this, she did not quite believe him. But she also knew he never lied to her.

      ‘I’m learning forgiveness from you,’ said Waleed, ‘and all these years, I’ve been a poor student.’

      ‘That’s because I discover new ways to drive you up the wall,’ said Shabina, with a laugh.

      ‘It took me all these years to realise that its God at play,’ said Waleed. ‘He gave me anger, but he sent me you and your patience. Finally, the student is ready.’

      ‘You’ve always said God never gave one a challenge one cannot surmount.’

      ‘Yes, I should have listened to myself sooner.’

      They embraced. Shabina thanked God.

      Waleed too thanked God.

      Haiku & Story: Copyright @ Eric Alagan, 2018

  5. I learned long ago that letting those little hurts or even big hurts go takes a lot of stress out of life, but sometimes we need to take stress out of our life by forgiving self too. We can dwell too much on our past mistakes and that has no value. Mistakes are stepping stones to success.

    1. Hello Ian,

      Now, I needed that comment – “we need to take stress out of our life by forgiving self too”.

      I’m guilty of dwelling on my past mistakes. I got over most of it but the guilt sometimes rears its head. Yet to get there, but I’m winning.

      Thank you for this timely reminder.

      Weights great in a gym
      Life not resistance training
      Shackle free, fly high

      ‘Forgive those who offend you,’ said the priest. ‘And forgive yourself too.’

      ‘My forgiveness, should it not come from others?’ asked Barnabas.

      ‘You are your worst judge,’ said the priest. ‘Long after others have forgotten, your recollections of your deeds continue to haunt and torment you. You need to learn from your mistakes, true, but don’t get bogged down. Let go, move on.’

      ‘Look for new mistakes to commit,’ said Barnabas, and the priest laughed.

      As the years went by, Barnabas found it more difficult to come up with new mistakes. But just as he relaxed his search, one will spring out and surprise him.

      Haiku & Story: Copyright @ Eric Alagan, 2018

      1. Well I’ve built up an impressive list of things to feel guilty of over my lifetime, but that was then and this is now. We will be judged by what we want to be rather than what we are. So there is no need for guilt over the past. Regrets probably, but not guilt. Guild destroys so forgive yourself. 🙂

      2. Perhaps you’re right – I used the wrong choice of words about myself. They are regrets rather than guilt.

        I too believe we’ll be judged by what we become and not what we were.

        Thank you, Ian, have a good one,

  6. My Dear Eric!

    What a timely poem! In fact, I just finished a private post to myself, about the past wasted year, of dwelling too long on being unceremoniously discharged from my job and not finding suitable employment since.

    My post to myself was about a sudden epiphany (aren’t they all?) and thinking how utterly preposterous it has been for me to ponder such an injurious and false charge against my good nature and soul.

    I had allowed the hurt and pain and soul-searching moments–days–to linger far too long in my cerebellum, causing nothing more than misery and a deep sense of Melancholia.

    But, I thought today, during my simple insight, that ‘I’ control my destiny. There can never be the ‘Corporate Entity’ that churns and crushes my being into their relentless and tireless maw.

    I have allowed it to ‘…burden my life journey’ but no more.I shall now ‘move on’ and ‘travel light and far.’

    Travel light and far. What a beautiful line! 🙂

    Thank you, my dear friend, for posting such a wonderful and timely haiku. It speaks to my soul…and I shall embrace it.

    With warmth and gratitude,

    1. Dear Paul,

      And once in a while, the word conveys profundity to a person in need—not because the author wrote something containing special wisdom but because the recipient well received it. That is reason enough for the author to keep writing.

      People abusing their positions of power hints of their inferiority complex. Their very act makes them losers, I reckon. Their deeds are like dog poo that one picks up under one’s shoe on a hot day—stinks and difficult to get rid. But with some effort, we can clean their foul act from our minds.

      And you are right. Once they committed their shameful deed, they lose control. We—you and I—are in control. I’m glad you found the right detergent.

      All good wishes my good friend,
      Eric 🙂

      Simple words on slate
      Waiting to be read, embraced
      Ready sponge appears

      Freddie Chew was livid when Sumathi, the new HR Officer, disallowed an expense claim which he had approved for one of his staff. He was a senior executive and a pioneer in the company with ten years’ service. Sumathi, on the other hand, was fresh out of college—and yet to be confirmed in her job. She was not only a woman, but also an Indian in Chinese majority Singapore. Back in the 1970s there was a tacit expectation that Indians and Malays should know their place.

      Chew considered it beneath him to approach Sumathi. He sent his secretary to demand an explanation.

      ‘The rules state very clearly, look here, staff shall be reimbursed for medical expenses,’ said Sumathi. She pointed to the HR manual, which the staff union had approved. ‘Taxi fare to and from the clinic does not qualify for claims. I know it has been past practice but that does not make it right.’

      When John Hammond, the GM, went on vacation, he appointed Chew the acting GM. When Hammond returned after his month long vacation, he was surprised that Sumathi had been sacked from her job.

      ‘And what reason did you give her for letting her go?’ asked Hammond, an Australian national.

      ‘The employment terms state clearly that we do not have to provide a reason to the person.’

      ‘But Chew, I want to know the reason,’ said Hammond. He was already aware of the run-in Sumathi had with Chew.

      ‘She had problems fitting in,’ said Chew.

      Hammond understood. To maintain management solidarity he did not re-employ Sumathi but he also never appointed Chew acting GM again.

      This flash is based on a true story.
      Haiku & Story: Copyright @ Eric Alagan, 2018

    1. Celestine dear,

      Thank you for your ever presence and encouragement.

      I’m with you here. When life overwhelms, I too need this reminder.

      All good wishes with your forthcoming anthology of poems,

      Old words, new meanings
      Old lessons, good reminders
      Compass for guidance

      ‘People cheat, they lie, and they back stab,’ said Abuchi. ‘And these are just the family members.’

      Berko, his friend, nodded in agreement. Whining about family and co-workers was Abuchi’s favourite pastime. Whenever talk took this turn, Berko shared a sympathetic word or two, but never contributed.

      ‘You have not met such people in your life?’ asked Abuchi.

      ‘All the time,’ said Berko.

      ‘How do you cope?’

      This was a question Berko had already addressed a dozen times and more.

      ‘Sometimes I avoid them, most times I handle them with care. But I never hate them,’ said Berko.

      Haiku & Story: Copyright @ Eric Alagan, 2018

  7. When we forgive, Eric – we release ourselves from the bondage of those who have harmed us.

    burdened by your chains
    hurt I embraced against my heart
    free now, I can fly

    1. Hello Bill,

      First off, thank you for sharing your meaningful and apt haiku.

      I like your take: people who harmed us are our jailors. But we are in control and can break free at will. And like all escapes, it might not be easy but it is doable.

      All good wishes,

      Chain, cage, water tank
      Plains, skies, and oceans beckon
      Your greed, my prison

      ‘How do you do it?’ asked Brian.

      ‘Do what?’ said Reagan.

      It was lunch break and the staff cafeteria was filling up with people and noise.

      ‘I mean, your sister and brother-in-law ripped you off. A hundred grand, you say. And here you are, as if nothing happened.’

      ‘Oh, that hurt alright, real bad,’ said Reagan, ‘the betrayal, more than the financial loss.’

      ‘They not only cheated you, they’re also going round bad-mouthing you to the family. Aren’t you going to sue them?’

      ‘Here,’ said Reagan, ‘need to watch my waist.’ He passed the fries to Brian.

      ‘Did you hear what I said?’

      ‘Look, Brian,’ said Reagan and he leaned forward. ‘I can let it weigh me down with outrage, ruin my health, and lose my happiness. Or I can focus on my blessings. A wife who still loves me, wonderful children, and a great friend in you.’

      This flash is based on a true story.

      Haiku & Story: Copyright @ Eric Alagan, 2018

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