It is your body but motherhood is a joint decision. Don’t shock him with the news of your pregnancy, but present it as your (his and yours) long cherished dream come true.
You are pregnant – not sick. Take it up with hospitals and doctors who label you as a ‘patient’ instead of a ‘mother-to-be’ or ‘mother’.
Don’t bemoan the fact that you can’t wait to squeeze back into your tight jeans or whatever. Pregnancy is not a burden; it’s a gift. Other than some sports and certain physical positions, life can and should continue as normal. Loving is great too – but you already know that (wink).
It’s okay to expect special treatment but don’t demand it – the baby is in you, it’s not you.
If you do lose your cool, forgive yourself – don’t beat and wreck yourself with guilt or anxiety. Your body is going through sea changes. Know this and be fair to yourself. Those who don’t appreciate that – don’t deserve your regard.
When treated special, accept it with grace – but not as an entitlement.
If you’ve always wanted to give up smoking (or substance abuse) – this is a great time to show how much you love your unborn child. If you do give up your Jack Daniels – fret not, most husbands would have that covered (wink).
Oh, one more thing, when you’re heavy with child – you will look the most radiant ever. Even if you don’t believe in God, you will see The Light and will radiate Light.
Enjoy the journey – and lean on your man. Make him feel wanted and part of this wondrous journey of your making.
Pregnancy brings you and your man together. Any husband who truly shares your pregnancy with you – will have great respect for you and will never ever leave you.
He loves you and you, him. The child within, is proof therein.
As mother, you are a feminine wonder.
You are his Woman, truly.
(P/s Guys, good habits you picked up during your wife’s pregnancy – keep them.)
Related post > Her Man
************ Copyright @ Eric Alagan, 2014 ************
Love this, Eric, well said and great advice! Brings back memories of my own, good ones and great deliveries, too! Sorry I’ve been absent; we were getting ready for our vacation, then were gone. Now I’m trying to catch up (as if that’s even possible). 🙂 Hope you’re doing fine and dandy! 🙂
Glad that this brought back memories for you, Lauren 🙂
Yes, I just finished visiting your blog and saw your holiday photos of white water rafting and all. Obviously, you guys had a good one.
We’re well and great to have you back,
Wonderfully done Eric.
Thank you and glad you like it, Val 🙂
Great piece of advice, my good friend. As a matter of fact, it’s seen more like a taboo in my culture to tell a mother-to-be “ndo” (sorry) for carrying a child under the right circumstance. For the husband and others, they are encouraged to help and take good care of the pregnant woman. Come to think of it, there women – I’m referring to the barren ones – who wish to experience this very state. Like you rightfully noted: pregnancy is a blessing.
Hey, it’s been a while. But I promise to read the rest of what I’ve missed, including you rich serial 😉
Hello Uzo, my friend,
I believe life does get in the way of our blogging. Trust and hope that all is well with you.
Glad this post resonates – as it will do with all family-types, I reckon, and in all cultures.
Take your time and I’ll see you around 🙂
I have come across many pregnant ladies who are strong even in their advance stage. They can lift fairly heavy things and sometime walk faster than us. They are definitely not a patient.
Especially for first time mother, am sure they are very apprehensive of what’s to happen. Support from husband and family will be the greatest joy.
It is good that men are aware that they are also very much involved in the pregnancy and the arrival of a newborn.
Hello Jasey dearesr,
Heavy lifting at a late stage of their pregnancy – I wonder whether they deserve admiration or counselling – risking the safety of their unborn child.
Yes, pregnancy is definitely a husband’s thing as much as a wife’s – I reckon.
Luv and hugz,
This is sweet, and good advice for both men and women. Having a family is a huge change for all involved, but can be navigated with love.
Yes, a family makes a humongous change for all. Many challenges but none insurmountable – with love.
Thank you and all the best for the week ahead,
Great post Eric, pregnancy is the BEGINNING of a wonderful journey – one which is, I think, the greatest motivator on earth – the propagation of the species. I am so glad that being a grandparent carries on the happy continuum.
By the way I’ve just read ‘Mechanic Leigh’ and enjoyed the amusing insights into growing up in the ’60s in Singapore – all part of the continuum, Leigh was a lovable imp!.
Hello Jane dear,
Thank you and yes, of course – pregnancy is indeed the beginning of many beginnings. I’ve yet to enjoy grand-parenthood – we shall see. I’ll either spoil them or drown the lot 🙂
I’m glad that Mechanic Leigh did not disappoint and yes, that lad grew into his own.
All good wishes,
Hear, hear. ditto to all. 🙂 Well said, And from this woman, thank you Eric for saying it. Cheers to you, your little woman, wife of your children. May she be blessed, you and your family. If you chose this topic to write about the book would be a favorite found on the the tables inside the expectant fathers’ waiting rooms in doctor’s/obstetricians’ offices and hospitals.
You’re very welcome, Joyce
You’ve got a great marriage and we need to hear more positive stories, I reckon.
Write a book on this – what can I say other than about my limited experience – and as a man, looking in from the outside. But then again – hmmmm 🙂
All good wishes,
Yes indeed, pregnant ladies are the most radiant. Sorry but some a little bit “sloppy” but they usually make it up by being very chirpy. They deserve all the love.
Well, in later stages of their pregnancy some women do walk a little clumsy – or cute – it’s a matter of view and opinion.
Reblogged this on Dr Mustapha Tahir and commented:
Pregnancy is a normal Physiological process. Why do we call pregnant women patients in hospitals?
Thank you for the ever kind reblogs, Doctor.
I believe it is changing now, as younger better trained doctors come with more enlightened views. Mind you, even in the old days, there were some very enlightened doctors – but they were in the minority.
All good wishes,
Indeed Eric. Pregnancy is a normal Physiological process. How dare the quacks call pregnant women patients!
During the 1980s and early 1990s, when my children were born – the medical fraternity routinely referred to mothers-to-be as patients. Lisa and I would gently remind them that no one was sick. We received strange looks. Of course, when I entered the consultation room with Lisa – stifled embarrassed gasps – especially from the older nurses.
LOL! We took great pleasure in making them squirm 🙂
lovely post! An answer for those who think that they’ll lose their youth and beauty with childbirth
I feel sorry for people who cling to physical beauty. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve played the field and love eye candy too. However, anyone who clings to that is surely fighting the inevitable decline.
Peace and blessings,
The whole baby growing and moving around inside me is the most incredible thing I have ever felt in my life.
Yes, I can well imagine – and only imagine. No matter how much we men try to get involved, we end up mostly as spectators.
In the later stages of pregnancy, when the baby pushes out an elbow or a knee – such joy. I enjoyed stroking and touching Lisa’s stomach.
All good wishes, dear,
Eric that’s beautiful…
Hello Nomie (?)
First comment here, I believe – welcome aboard 🙂
Thank you and all good wishes,
“As mother, you are a feminine wonder.” Absolutely!
Hello Ian, glad you picked that up.
When we stop and consider – childbirth is such a miraculous event. I don’t wish to get graphic but I’ve seen my children born – amazing and spell binding.
I’m happy there are men like us who see the wonder.
Have a great week ahead,
P/s Lisa is visiting our daughter in Canberra. On my next trip to Canberra, I’ll route via Brisbane, spend a night there and perhaps we can meet up for a simple meal.
We live north of Brisbane on the Sunshine Coast. Unfortunately I can’t drive long distances any more so if you have a car it’s 45 minutes drive north of Brisbane and I would love to see you.
I’ll keep this mind and give you as much notice as possible 🙂
You will be most welcome.
Thank you, Eric, for your advises
You’re very welcome, Yoshiko.
🙂 Cheers too
Indeed! I agree 🙂
Slowly getting back into the blogging routine, I see. Missed you 🙂
Thank you for your comment,
Yes Eric, family obligations and work keep me occupied. Also, the muse is sometimes mute 🙂
good pieces of advice.
Thank you my Nairobi friend.
P/s I read your recent post – gawd where do you get all those stuff from. LOL!
Blame it on having too much work to do.:D