Flash Fiction Script - Anecdote

Creative Idioms – Flash fiction script

31 Comments

THE DUKE

Davenport put these plans together with a lick and a promise.

 –

ADJUTANT

It is a bit much, Your Grace, definitely a bridge too far.

–

THE DUKE

That’s also my reading of the tea leaves. He vexes me. That man

has not seen action in a month of Sundays.

–

ADJUTANT

General Davenport is above the salt and could be our ace in

the hole, Your Grace.

 –

THE DUKE

How so, my dear fellow, he’s worse than a lost ball in the high weeds. A right

royal shallow brook, I’d say, and about as useful as a chocolate teapot.

 –

ADJUTANT

If I may be so bold, a chocolate teapot does have it’s uses.

 –

THE DUKE

Come on man, out with it!

 –

ADJUTANT

Let the General execute his poor man’s plan. When his regiments fail

to take the high ground, it would be above the fold.

 –

THE DUKE

And of course, with him gone and after we’ve sorted out this Bonaparte fellow,

that’ll leave you in prime spot to helm John’s Company, now, will it not?

 –

ADJUTANT

Well, Your Grace, if the powers-that-be so decide,

who am I to dispute their wisdom.

 –

THE DUKE

Hmmmm, what’s the disposition of the Prussian reinforcements?

–

ADJUTANT

They’ll be here tomorrow afternoon, Your Grace.

 –

THE DUKE

Good. Now then, take a despatch to General Davenport.  Make clear

that I cannot and will not sanction any advance on the hills.

He has to await the Prussians, and those are my orders!

 –

ADJUTANT

Begging your pardon, Your Grace, the General will never deign to share

the accolades with anyone, and especially with the Prussians.

 –

The Duke

Even more reason why I have to order him not to advance,

don’t you agree, James?

 –

ADJUTANT

I see, yes, yes of course and if I might be permitted a degree of candour,

Your Grace, it’s exactly what the doctor ordered.

 –

THE DUKE

You mean it’s exactly what John’s Company needs!

–

************ Copyright @ Eric Alagan, 2014 ************

31 comments

  2. “Well, Your Grace, if the powers-that-be so decide, who am I to dispute their wisdom.” He sure said it with such piss and pomposity, ever so confident. Such audacity to think he can rid Napolean and helm the British East India Company – you mentioned this in your reply to a comment above. But this would be their typical mannerism.

    You manage to present the dialogues as what I would have watched in those British movies. Well said, my man.

    Reply

    1. Hello Jasey dearest,

      You came across as “Anonymous” 🙂 but I recognise your IP address.

      Recently, I watched the Dracula TV series by Jonathan Rhys Meyers – the dialogue – LOL – what hypocrisy!

      Luv and hugz,
      Eric

      Reply

  3. Eric, if we ever need someone to rewrite history so that everyone pays attention, I’ll nominate you! I love this…………read it over and over, putting voices to your words. Love it…love it! ~ Bobbie

    Reply

    1. Awwwh! That’s so sweet, Bobbie dear, and thank you.
      ————————
      First Mate: Fight on, laddies, don’t give up the ship!
      English Captain: Aye, it’s yet to be paid for!
      French Captain: No problem, ah, ship’s not mine.
      ————————
      A little known fact about The Battle of Trafalgar?

      Reply

    1. When they do an autopsy of my brain – they’ll probably have to rewrite the book titled: “Normal People are Crazy” or is that, “Crazy People Look Normal”? LOL

      Thank you dear and all good wishes,
      Eric

      Reply

    1. Hello ChristyB,

      Yes, I did some research on the Battle of Waterloo for this and mixed it up with generous portions of fiction. Could not resist slipping in something about the British East India Company.

      Glad that you caught on 🙂

      Peace and blessings,
      Eric

      Reply

    1. I’m so very happy that this gave you some giggles, Val dear.

      Can you imagine how all these ruling class honchos used to speak – full of piss and pomposity, filled with hidden slants and snide thoughts. I sometimes wonder what constitutes foreplay with their women.
      —————————————-

      “I say, my dear, would you like a spot of heavy breathing after dinner?”

      “Oh darling, I would simply love that so much, but you know, I’m a little indisposed.”

      “How so very disappointing! Well then, what do you suggest I do to get my rocks off?”

      “Oh darling, you’re so crude! (Small feigned tinkling laughter – Ha! Ha! Ha!). But please forgive me, I’m having a dreadful headache and don’t like bitter before bed.”

      “What’s a virile man to do? What about that new chambermaid, do you think she should kneel before me and do some prayers?”

      “Oh darling, you’re so funny when you’re naughty. But you’ll do no such thing! What will the cat think? Now, run along and start a war or something.”
      ———————-
      Notice that “Oh darling…” that’s creativity!

      Reply

  9. A chocolate teapot might not have many uses, but I’m sure it would be tasty! (sorry, all that witty dialogue and my mind focuses on the chocolate- must be Friday after a long week 🙂 )

    Had to chuckle at Ian’s comment about the king asking for a horse, and the retort that it was a poor substitute… too funny!

    Reply

    1. Anything with chocolate must be a welcomed and tasty treat, Janna dear 🙂 I’m not a chocolate person – but as a guy-man-of-the-caveman type – I prefer it raw 🙂

      Ian does toss some winners into the ring – gave me a good laugh too 🙂

      Reply

  10. One of the things I remember learning about the Prussians in much of my research was that they had their military always ready, prepared to fight and were very disciplined soldiers. It is said their people were of proud bearing and always carried themselves with dignity. My grandfather’s family originated from old Prussia before their migration into Russia. It is too bad that the old Prussia was all carved up by the Russians and Germans and dissolved, But, then Poland was formed I believe from the same territory. There were a lot of annexations and territorial changes with all those countries around there through the last couple centuries.

    Reply

    1. Hello Joyce,

      Yes, the history of the Prussians is a fascinating read. Unfortunately, many also figured prominently in the Nazi regime’s Wehrmacht – especially in the land forces (army). I suppose Hitler offered and they grabbed the opportunity to exercise their martial prowess. In private, many held their Nazi masters in great disdain.

      Peace,
      Eric

      Reply

      1. You are right on that, too, Eric. The dark hold and influence Hitler had on his minions and other vulnerable military troops left without one to lead them followed him and became like puppets to their ‘master’. Rather than a victory more for Germany it became one solely for Hitler and his evil agenda.

    1. Hello Jane dear,

      I wanted to craft a radio scene that relied on idioms to drive the storyline. Some people might call it creativity – I’ve my doubts 🙂

      Of course, Eric being Eric, I’d to thread in a dark plot based on some loose historical elements.

      Glad that it brought you a laugh,
      Eric

      Reply

  14. As a boy I used to listen to a British comedy show called “Take it from here” with Dick Bentley and Professor Jimmy Edwards. Your post would be right up their alley using your way of communicating.

    I remember one show in particular where Sir Lancelot had run off with the Kings latest flame. When the King was informed he said, “Quick, get me a horse!” And the replay came, “Alright Sire, but I must say it’s a poor substitute!” lol

    Reply

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