79 comments

  1. Which gauge of success are you most happy with? Most would be happy at just one in their life while you enjoy several. Which one has satisfied you the most so far and will this one keep you happy enough to pull back and enjoy the fruits of your labor?

    1. These are all good questions, Michael.

      I see that you’re 59 – same age here. I know, in that picture taken in January 2014, I do look much younger than my age.

      We probably recall similar world events:

      6-day War
      Prague Spring
      Yom Kippur War
      Vietnam
      US Embassy in Iran
      and so forth

      Your questions provoke much thought.

      All good wishes,
      Eric

    1. It took the better part of my life before I realised that it’s a gift – to be able to truly rejoice in the good fortunes of (especially) friends and (extended) family members. I pray that I never lose this gift.

      But I don’t judge harshly others who don’t have this gift – it’s not of our doing (as it’s not of theirs) for it’s a gift freely given to us and not based on merit.

      Peace and blessings,
      Eric

    1. Hello Maryam,

      I agree with your sentiments – there’s plenty of work. The good news is, the internet helps connect people and ideas – it’s up to us to build bridges or burn them. I believe the vast majority of people are decent and will do the right thing.

      Peace ane blessings,
      Eric

  2. mmm…interesting thoughts under the title “winners and loosers”.

    Firstly in my opinion we are not here to be one or other. We are here to learn and to archive experiences and taste life.

    Success? maybe a huge quantity of people would define success with the measure of quantity, get a high position profesionally, fame, money, money, money…

    I’m learning now, that defeat is a lesson. Success is an eventual event.
    You can get to the top, but also you can fall again to the dust.

    It isn’t quantity. It is quality. As person. As human being.

    About the second quote.
    The others’ fortune makes me happy. And the others’ misfortunes makes me try to motivate them to stand up again.

    I’m in this process of seeking. Starting for seeking from inside of myself.
    And maybe an uthopy, but I think that humanity should start to change absurd concepts.
    I read in somewhere ” unlearn what you learnt”.
    All knowledge starts from each one of us. I see, I hear, I feel, I breathe.
    At the end I could resume, we think too much ๐Ÿ˜›

    eternal kisses
    Msblackrose A.G

    1. This is lovely, Msblackrose A.G

      Exactly what I hoped for – to hear the thoughts of visitors to my blog post ๐Ÿ™‚

      Life is all about living, experiencing and learning – true – and what a journey, we each undertake.

      Peace and blessing,
      Eric

  3. Much would be dependent on the variables to each, and their stories, for humanity paints itself fickle, but not always. Well approached all the same, Eric, they would most certainly present themselves in most cases.
    Peace, Sean

  4. These are lovely provocative quotes, Eric. The irony is that, by our society’s definition there are far fewer winners than losers. After all only one man or woman wins the race. The other contestants may claim to be ‘winners’ because they completed the course but however they spin it only one gets a prize.
    Envy is a destructive emotion, and makes your second quote so true. To enjoy another’s successes requires a person to step outside himself, unless of course, it is one’s children’s success in which case one revels in it.
    Both quotes brought Kipling’s poem “If” to mind as one of your commentators mentioned.
    You excel again!
    Cheerio,
    Jane

    1. You’re right, Jane dear

      By society’s definition – only a handful are winners. In one of my earlier posts >>> http://wp.me/p1YE83-if >>> I touched on the races we choose to participate in – man’s or god’s ๐Ÿ™‚

      I love what you say, regarding those who step outside and relish another’s success. That’s more than ability, it’s a Gift, I reckon. Perhaps with focussed effort, we too can taste from that cup.

      Thank you for your ever kind and supportive words of encouragement,
      Eric

  5. Eric, these are both so true. It’s not our feelings we must follow–but what is right and good. When we’ve chosen the right way then feelings of peace will follow our actions.

    Blessings ~ Wendy โ€

    1. That’s a thought, Wendy

      Feelings can be obstacles to doing right – powerful obstacles, as they can also be drivers to good. It all depends on how we chose to use the faculties given to us.

      But quite often, we give in to baser feelings and baulk at expressing and acting on the higher feelings within us, I reckon.

      Peace and blessings,
      Eric

    1. Hello Val,

      No worries and pop over as/when you catch some time.

      Thank you for your visit/comment and all the best for the week ahead,
      Eric

  6. Truisms both – but regrettably contra-instinctive. On a brighter note change begins with awareness so these should be billboarded in neon. A well-considered work Eric.

  7. Your words are very true, Eric…defeat is tough to swallow, so if we can accept it smiling, that shows more character than relishing in success, which is easy to do.

    When I read your second quote, what comes to mind is jealousy instead of rejoicing in someone else’s fortune. Then again, it might depend on how “your” life is going and also the relationship between you and the other, as stated by David…

    In ending, why can’t we just be happy for each other and greet our defeat as life lessons and move forward? ๐Ÿ™‚

    Enjoy your weekend! ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Hello Lauren,

      Thank you and you’re right.

      Defeat is difficult to swallow and that’s what makes it special when we can wear it and learn from it. If acceptance is ordinary, than the person accepting it will not be extraordinary.

      The second – obviously, we don’t expect our rivals to rejoice in our success. But our friends and family —- (?)

      You said it – it boils down to raw jealousy

      All good wishes,
      Eric

  8. These make sense. After all, being happy with success is more natural than accepting defeat. I think the second one depends on your relationship with the other person. If you are rivals, this is probably true.

    1. Thank you, David

      Yes, enjoying success is natural.

      Re the second, yes, I suppose rivalry sometimes brings out one’s ugly side. The sad part is the reaction of so-called friends and even family members – makes for interesting study.

      Peace,
      Eric

    1. I love love love this, Shalilah ๐Ÿ™‚

      You turned this around on its head and – so very true too ๐Ÿ™‚

      Have a good one,
      Eric

  9. I am a huge fan of quotes………. and of those who managed to say so much with such a meager amount of words. A favorite, โ€œThe greatest mistake we can make is to stay on the ground after falling.โ€ That which speaks loudest of us, is that which must be seen. ~ May your day be beautiful, Eric. As to your comment to Jane, I’m just down the road from Jack. Maybe I’ll invite him over this weekend. ~ Much love, Bobbie

    1. Hello Bobbie,

      I like that quote too – very inspirational.

      “That which speaks loudest of us, is that which must be seen.” Isn’t that the truth as it goes beyond thoughts and words >>> and gravitates to action!

      Ah, hope Jack and you have an enjoyable visit ๐Ÿ™‚

      Luv and hugz,
      Eric

  10. I think the first is more honorable — to accept defeat. The second has a lot to do with NOT feeling jealous. And trying not to do something seems…lesser. Yet being compassionate and empathetic (also in the second) are good traits. There. My thoughts.

    1. Thank you, Sandy, for your thoughts.

      You pretty much covered all the angles and in so few words too. And all you say, rings so very true.

      Peace and blessings,
      Eric

    1. Yes, Beth, to remember and reflect.

      For example, I was so very happy for you when you guys flew off for that holiday paid by your friends – on that Mystery Trip! How lovely of them, how fortunate for you – and how happy for all of you.

      Cheers,
      Eric

    1. Balance is good, I agree, Kaye

      Not only plants, man suffer the same when there is too much of anything, even life giving warmth and water.

      Peace,
      Eric

  11. The second one says a lot about how self-obssessed we humans are, doesn’t it? Commiserating comes naturally because we are imaging ourselves in the same unfortunate situation. When someone else gets lucky, it’s more likely to be jealousy that rears its ugly head than rejoicing!

    1. You’re so very right, Jane, and thank you for your sharing.

      Years ago, when I was journeying with others in RCIA, the facilitators kept repeating about how community was key especially during times of distress. Everyone nodded ever so sagely. When I pointed out that perhaps itโ€™s also great to rally around and celebrate the success of others – a heavy silence dropped. A couple of Sundays earlier, a couple celebrated their anniversary and invited all to their homes for a simple prayer and meal. Out of that group of about 20, only Lisa and I had attended – the others did not even bother to call to say they could not make it. Yet in church, there was so much huggy-huggy kissy-kissy!

      Yes, envy is an abundant attribute.

      Peace,
      Eric

  12. To accept defeat requires humility. To relish success but remain down-to-earth requires more humility. Success or defeat, it should spur you on – so the character becomes alive and vibrant.

    For the second part – I rather partake in the rejoicing, for sure there will be wining and dining – something to celebrate. Misfortune – it’ll find us and there’ll be plenty of opportunity to “share”.

    1. That’s a good thought, Jasey dearest – to remain humble, no matter what we encounter. We see the piss and pomposity all around us and I don’t only refer to the outwardly arrogant.

      We see doctors who drape their stethoscopes around their necks – even when visiting the toilet. “I’m a doctor you know.” We see priests who insist on being addressed as “Father” even by people not in their faith. Something perhaps unique in Singapore – teachers who introduce themselves and expect others to address them as “Mr This” or “Mrs That” even in social settings in the homes of mutual friends. Every evening my walk-a-jog takes me past a community club where three local MPs had planted saplings – part of a tree planting initiative. Each had a plaque proudly announcing the person who planted the sapling – by “Mr” so-and-so. It says much about our society.

      Yes, I’ve a thing about such piss and pomposity. It’s all around us but in varying degrees.

      I like that – wining and dining ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. Your words evoke Kipling for me…treat triumph and disaster as imposters, and therefore the same. If you have an open heart then others energetic lifts in life serve to lift us all. It’s all energy and it’s flows when it’s pure heart energy. Great post my lovely buddy. Xx

    1. Isn’t that lovely – to be mentioned in the same breath as Kipling.

      In the World of Illusion
      There are imposters plenty
      Discern, unburden and
      Enter the World of Reality

      Your comment drew this out in all spontaneity, Jane my buddy. That’s the kind of loving energy you radiate ๐Ÿ™‚

      Here’s to a lovely weekend,
      Eric
      P/s Just returned from my walk-a-jog > shower and a glass of Jack Daniels beckons – ’tis a good life, me thinks ๐Ÿ™‚

    2. Your spontaneous words ring with truth. I love these golden links we have…things that money cannot buy. Big hugs to you my lovely buddy and here’s to a great weekend. Xx

    1. Well Susan,

      I like to believe that most people know these – but quite often, the demands of ‘modern’ living drains out the best of intentions.

      Have a great weekend ahead with the ‘boys’ and Mitch ๐Ÿ™‚

  14. Great share dear Eric… I loved the way you played with opposites and I’ll take your message as an uplifting way to consider both, defeat and success, as being part of the same challenging game…
    Best wishes and enjoy your friday and weekend ahead, Aquileana ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. You’ve been reading me for some time, Aquileana dear, and know what I always say: we all look into the mirror and we all see something different.

      Hence, the words go beyond the literal – and some garner more – much more than even what the author meant to convey. For I believe, the author’s limitations should never be (and is never) the limitations of the reader.

      All good wishes for the weekend dear,
      Eric

  15. Very true words, Eric. Defeat shouldn’t define us; it shouldn’t be the end. Courage and determination amplifies the whispers of success. Only then will we realize she’s been standing beside all along.

    Envy is like a dreaded skin disease. It destroys even a man who thinks he has everything.

    1. Yes, Uzo my friend,

      Following up in the same vein – success also should not define us – for it could be a mere illusion, a crest before the trough. Yes, your words helped propel this to the yonder.

      I like your phrase – envy as a skin disease!

      It’s obvious to all who see but not to those afflicted. It could be a momentary dulling of the eyes, the drop of facial muscles, an awkward pause – but it lingers within the recipient that no subsequent mask worn by the afflicted can ever hide.

      Peace, Bro, and have a great weekend ahead,
      Eric

  16. I find more personal truth in the first one. Success is ego-building, but defeat strips our confidence and hits us at the core. To me, accepting defeat isn’t giving up- it’s acknowledging a failure and not letting it become me.

    1. Bingo!

      You encapsulated that so well, Janna dear.

      I might have failed but that’s my failure, that’s not me – because I’m much more than that failure!

      I love what you said,
      Eric

  17. Hmm..my thoughts on the two sayings are..well firstly, why are wise words so easy to say, but so hard to apply?
    Also…yes. I agree with both of them – for most of us are at that place where we feel better at someone else’s misfortunes or sorrows. It makes us feel that we either aren’t alone or that what we experience isn’t as bad. With the first quote, I guess for me personally, it can make me feel more insecure and afraid that I was not as deserving to receive good fortune…..does that make sense?

    1. Ah, but words are mere paths – waiting to give up experiences to all travellers ๐Ÿ™‚

      You’re right, Shree, and it makes sense. Shared grief reduces the burden; and inversely, shared happiness multiplies the joy – I reckon.

      Peace and blessings
      Eric
      Eric

    1. Depending on the context, a defeat fuels reflection, acceptance and resurgence, I reckon.

      When someone talks about their child excelling in school or sports, their partner winning a promotion, or when they drive up in a flashy new car or move into a lovely home – can we feel happy for them.

      Closer to our blogging bones – how many rejoice when someone announces they have published a new book.

      You’re right, Aparna dear – Altruism, altruism, where art thou ๐Ÿ™‚

      All good wishes,
      Eric
      P/s Something is amiss – WP has marked your blocked as ‘protected’ and requires a password to access. Looks like the WP gnomes are at it again ๐Ÿ™

    2. I agree Eric! It takes much reflection to accept defeat in a positive stride. Same with people being happy when other’s achieve.
      I am trying to change my blog’s appearance and not very happy with some changes ๐Ÿ™‚

  18. Those are good Eric – this one comes to mind: I am not diminished by your success

    It’s so hard to decide on accept defeat – is that quitting ? But we don’t always win – there’s lots of food for thought here!

    1. “I am not diminished by your success” – how very well put! True, success is not a zero sum game.

      Well, it depends on the context where one encounters ‘defeat’ – is it an end game or one game in a series.

      You’re right, Bill, it’s so open for interpretation ๐Ÿ™‚

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