When I was an executive, an office colleague – a lawyer – retorted she was so busy with work and family that she had no time for charity work unlike ‘some people’ – she was referring to me in a derisive tone.
Here I was managing six workshops, had a busy travel schedule, had three young children of my own and capable wife no doubt, my weekends were ‘fully committed’.
Obviously, time management eluded my colleague but, as Mechanic Leigh would say, that is another story.
I asked her to smile.
“What?” she flew, barely hiding her annoyance.
I said, “Smile – at the coffee lady, the washroom attendant, the newsboy – smile, that is charity enough for a start. It is free, not time-consuming and you’ll receive more than you give.”
She stomped off, muttering under her breath.
Several years later (I was managing my business then) l met her at the airport departure lounge – she was travelling light – still no smile…
Based on true events.
********** (Copyright @ Eric Alagan, 2012) **********
It would be sad to be so wrapped up in one’s own importance that they had no time to smile.
Yes, Ian – such piss and pomposity did contribute to that person’s behaviour, I reckon.
Aren’t we all challenged in our lives by at least one lady like this one? And yet, we know we must smile even broader each time we encounter them, right? (And let’s not even go there and mention any Saturday Night LIve-style “church ladies” we have in our midst, shall we?! (tee,hee!))
The first 20 years I worked in a multinational, there was a senior man so grouchy and scratchy, we avoided him > he walked with his face dragging on the floor and we were afraid to step on it > didn’t want to soil our shoes. Perhaps one day, I might post something about this poor fellow.
P/s Would love to hear stories about your ‘church ladies’ – that should be a hoot 🙂
The inability to be happy is probably an ailment! She does deserve pity if not sympathy!
You’re probably right Madhu. This was in the late 1980s/early 1990s > let’s hope she has since found all her marbles
What!! But smiling is so easy!! She was one crabby person!
I’m afraid you might be right. In the two years we worked together – yes, she didn’t have one nice thing to say about anyone.
Some people just choose to be miserable. I make sure I avoid them like the plague. I’m not going to be on this earth long enough to spend my days being unhappy. Good post, it reminds us to be the best we can be.
I agree Susan – it is best to simply avoid disagreeable people where we can.
I do it all the time. Even here in my blog, sometimes I receive such opinionated comments – no problems with that as I welcome differing view points – but not when the writer insists that I MUST agree with him/her or I MUST do this or that…
Smiling is one of the most important things we can do for others AND for ourselves. Here’s to more smiling. To smile more was my New Years Resolution a couple of years ago. Rather than doing the usual lose weight, got to the gym more, drink less wine I opted for smiling more. It quite simply changed so much for me. It’s been my New Years Resolution ever since.
This is wonderful Jacqueline – the best Resolution ever, because it is so doable and spreads so much good vibes.
I also agree – ‘drink less wine’ – should never be a resolution 🙂
Some people are just uptight
You are right Jenny – generous as we want to be, we have to accept that some people are less than nice
I’ve heard it many times before; happiness is a choice, and so is depression. I may not be able to afford money, or much time, but I still try to make people smile, and laugh when I can.
Way to go 🙂
Now, if only everyone can pass on just one smile a day…what a start…
You write ups are so wonderfully woven Eric..i just love them….I remembered a Maya Angelou quote- If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don’t be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning Good morning…
Although she was talking about home but combined with what you wrote its so true isnt it ..some people just live their entire life as if the whole weight of earth is on their shoulder…..
And i think what a terrible waste of those beautiful curves we can build every day with our lips
Well Soma, my dear – thank you for your kind words of support.
It is right that we should begin within our homes. It is okay to wash our feet before entering our homes but not wash away our smile/joy.
I’m all for beautiful curves in the right places 🙂
P/s I’m not being naughty
A grouchy face requires more muscles to cringe and is definitely heavier, maybe that’s why she needs to travel light..ha..ha…
When you smile or say thank you, often you just made somebody’s day better though sometimes you get a frown in return. Just continue with the good gesture.
By the way, you have just quoted Mechanic Leigh – he will be laughing in glee !!
Yes it is true that it takes greater effort to frown than to smile.
Mechanic Leigh – oh dear…
Travelling light or is she carrying a heavy load? How effortless it would be for her to turn it around. Good try Eric.
Great view point.
I thought about it back then and still do – who are we to judge when only she knows – as a corporate person/mother/wife what loads she carries. That was why her responses did not upset but brought out the sympathy within.
Oh, I know people like this. I stay away from them because they drain happiness from those they come into contact with. It’s like trying to walk while someone holds your ankles.
I’m sorry she didn’t take your advice, though. I like to ask workers at a store how they’re doing before they ask me. Often I get a startled response, or something like, “You’re the first person to ask me today.” Yep, that always feels nice 🙂 (this is me smiling.)
Good on you Janna,
I think I’ll try that – ask after the persons serving me in stores/restaurants/counters/etc – before they ask me.
Thank you 🙂
people often ask me to “not smile” so much, but i just cant stop it, even though i have trained myself to be a bit grouchy these days still….
If you can smile easily, that is a gift I reckon – keep smiling 🙂
Simply heartbreaking. There’s no help for some people.
You said it and said it well Fay – without making judgements – bless you 🙂
I felt more sorrow than anger at her derisive remarks/behaviour. It is difficult to reach out until one is ready, I suppose.
I have never understood why some people choose to be miserable or unhappy. Life can’t be fun living that way, can it? I would think it would be a lonely existence — bitter folks run everyone else off.
at the end of the day, how can you call yourself a success if your family is wanting for love and attention.
Very true.
I look forward to the next installment…
That was a parable well worth telling. 🙂
Thank you – we can all do with such reminders, I reckon.
And isn’t that pitiful Eric? We all can choose to do or not do most of the time…she chose to be miserable, poor soul.
I suppose she could be trying to live up to what she thought was society’s expectations. One has to only read the stories flaunted in lifestyle magazines – the go getting all rounder. Of course, there is a price…
You are right Jeannie – she’s a poor soul (note the present tense).
Our sympathy and empathy to her/people in her shoes
Lol! Some people are like Eyore… they carry the burden of the world. They are wired that way 🙂
…and they do need our sympathy, I reckon.
The question I most got asked when I did volunteer work (meals on wheels etc) was ‘Do you get paid?’ Some people don’t understand the concept of helping out for free or that the ‘payment’ is in something so much better than dollars 🙂
Bless you for the volunteer work you gave. I believe all of us should give some of our time to charity – even if it is only for a short stint.
When we help others – whatever form that help takes – we always get paid, though many (especially those who don’t help) might not readily recognise the payment.
Some folks never learn to smile…too bad…they’ll never lighten their load. 😉
Very true – we see them everywhere in our daily lives…sometimes even in the mirror 🙂